To this day, I never understand why mental disorders are seen as so "taboo" to talk about, and why people talk more about celebrities than they do about a far more important issue (and much more common than you would think). In fact, probably half of the people I come across suffer from a mental disorder, but I would never even know. I, of course, understand why people don't openly talk about them, since there are many obvious reasons why- it's an uncomfortable topic to talk about, it's hard for people without them to understand, and it makes the person with one feel as if they're going insane, and who would want to admit to someone else that they think they're going crazy? Most importantly, since mental disorders are seen as so "taboo", and people don't openly talk about them, anyone with this disorder feels alone, helpless, and scared. At first, they usually don't even know whats happening to them, or that they even have a mental disorder, which makes things a lot worse. For this reason, I feel that it's important to be one of the very few people that does talk bout this disorder. Trust me, I know first hand how uncomfortable it is to talk about this subject, but if I don't, than who will?
"Courage" is the first word that comes to mind when thinking about someone with a mental illness; you need courage to admit to someone that you have a mental illness, you need courage to get help for having a mental illness, and you need A LOT of courage to battle with your mind every single day. That being said, i'm going to be very courageous and do something I've been wanting to do for a longggg time, but never got the guts to do- talk about my mental illness.
I've dealt with depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, and OCD for many years now. Thankfully, I am much better now than I was in the past, since I've learned ways to cope and deal with all of the above, but it is still something I have to deal with and work on almost every day and probably always will. What most people don't understand is that most mental illnesses never really "go away", and that there isn't one cure that will instantly "fix" them; however, there are many ways to cope with them, heal from them, tuck them away, and deal with them in a positive way whenever they do decide to creep back up again. What i'm trying to say is that you CAN live an amazingly beautiful, normal, positive, mental disorder "free" life if you currently struggle with any mental illness, but it's something you will have to work on every single day.
I know what it's like to be completely and utterly obsessed with your weight and the food you eat to the point that your life is controlled by it. I know what it's like to cry over a food you're about to eat because you have this nagging voice in your head telling you you shouldn't and that something bad will happen to you if you do. I know what it's like to be consumed by fear and not want to get out of bed in the morning because of it. I know what it's like to have trouble breathing out of nowhere and feel like the world is about to swallow you whole. I know what it's like to feel completely helpless and worthless for no reason at all. I know what it's like to be controlled by the constant negative thoughts and demons in your head and not know how to escape. I know what it's like to feel like you are going crazy and that no one will ever understand. I know what it's like to want to change but not know how to.
You are not alone.
NOTHING is wrong with you if you have a mental illness. You are NOT crazy for having one. Your mental illness does NOT define who you are as a person. It is NOT your fault. You should NEVER be ashamed for having a mental illness. And most importantly, it WILL get better and it ALWAYS does.
I know what it's like to have absolutely no hope that things will get better, and I also know from experience that it DOES- it gets so much better to the point that you can't even imagine! I've hit rock bottom and hit the top of the top all in one year- so I know from experience that no matter how horrible and helpless you might feel, there is always hope.
The number one thing that has saved my life through it all is a healthy lifestyle. If it wasn't for all the struggles I've been through, I probably never would have found such a strong passion for living a healthy lifestyle, and I most definitely would not be studying to become a registered dietitian and personal trainer right now. It is with a combination of learning how to meditate and breathe properly, learning how to eat all natural/unprocessed/plant based foods in abundance, practicing yoga and working out regularly that I was able to heal myself. Now, like I said before, there are many ways to cure your mental illness, however, it never completely goes away and will always be lurking somewhere deep down inside of you. The goal is to find ways to keep it down for as long as you can and to prevent it from creeping back up again. I still have my ups and downs, and I am definitely not perfect, but I have come a LONG way from even just a year ago, and because of that, I KNOW that it is possible for everyone who is currently struggling to do the same.
I am now a strong believer that taking care of your body not only helps prevent physical illnesses, but mental illnesses as well. I believe that a healthy, all natural diet, an adequate amount of sleep, a good workout routine, a daily meditation and/or yoga practice, and an overall stress free lifestyle can immensely help almost anyone with a mental illness, and I know now that it is my purpose in life to help those who are struggling and show them how to live a healthier lifestyle.
Believe me, it isn't easy at all to sit here and write this, and it brings back a lot of unpleasant memories, but I know that it is necessary. If I didn't believe so strongly in everything above, I would not be sharing it with all of you, but I believe that it is SO important and in fact necessary to start speaking out about mental illnesses and showing everyone that there is NOTHING wrong with having one and that there IS hope for a cure.
Now that I finally spoke up about this topic, I will be posting much more on it, so stay tuned.
If anyone struggling with a mental illness needs any help/advice or just someone to talk to, please feel free to reach out and shoot me an e-mail.
Have a beautiful day loves and remember, you are not alone and we are all in this crazy thing called life together!
xxx
Rachel
