I know what it's like to feel trapped and consumed by a certain way of eating/certain diet.
As a girl who dealt with an eating disorder in the past, I remember those days when any change outside of my "normal" way of eating brought tears to my eyes and anxiety throughout my body. I remember how what first started out as a scheduled diet turned into an obsessive pattern of eating that couldn't be broken without guilt, fear, pain, anxiety, and depression. I remember the surge of happiness I got from sticking to my diet plan and avoiding all of the signs my body was throwing at me for help.
Eating disorders come in many forms other than Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia that aren't talked about often. For me, it wasn't that I ever starved myself, binged, or purged; I just became obsessed with a certain way of eating, a certain eating schedule, and a certain pattern that I was unable to break. I thought my life would be over if I didn't have my green smoothie for breakfast on Wednesday morning, and if I was craving frozen yogurt on any other day of the week, I would HAVE to wait until Friday since that was my only "treat" day. And if I didn't have my daily apple as a snack one day...let's not even get started.
Fortunately, I was able to treat my eating disorder before it got to a very bad and dangerous place, and ever since then I've been committed to living a healthy lifestyle. As most of you probably know, NOTHING good comes out of an eating disorder and it is not something I'd wish on anyone; however, I am thankful that I got through my disordered way of eating and learned a ton about what it means to be healthy. Not only that, but through my recovery I found a passion for nutrition and fitness which has led me to discover my true purpose and passion in life; to become a registered dietician and personal trainer.
I spend a lot of my free time reading different health/diet books written by different nutritionists, and it is really starting to bother me how restrictive most of them are and how strict most of them sound. ANY diet that is too restrictive, has too many rules, or just sounds too serious is harmful in my opinion! I know what it's like to feel like you HAVE to eat or exercise a certain way if you don't want to become obese and don't want your life to end...and life is just too short to ever feel that way. Obsessing over a certain diet or lifestyle causes WAY too much stress and leaves you unhealthier mentally and physically than if you were to relax and be more flexible with your eating habits. Not only that, but there isn't one way of eating that works for everyone; we are ALL different and our bodies all respond differently to different diets and workouts.
What I love about nutrition and health is that there is no clear-cut definition for either. "Healthy" means something different to everyone, and there absolutely isn't one way of eating that works for everyone. Not only that, but individually, we are constantly evolving and a diet that might be perfect and healthy for us one day might change completely the next. Comparing ourselves to others and trying to follow someone else's exact diet and workout routine just doesn't make sense.
With that being said, I am no where near perfect. I still have days when I'm scared to eat certain foods or feel guilty after eating "too much" or "not enough" or something "unhealthy". I am still constantly experimenting with different diets to see what works best for my body. There is still a tiny part of my eating disorder left in the back of my mind, telling me that I'm not "thin" enough or "good" enough or should eat healthier. The difference, however, is that I now choose not to listen. I choose not to label my diet or stick to a certain routine, and I am now truly the happiest and healthiest I've ever been. Yes, I am 98% plant based, but that's because it makes me feel my healthiest and I truly love eating this way; not because I HAVE to be. By not labeling myself, I can eat a piece of cheese once in a while or have a cup of frozen yogurt here and there without feeling guilty and like a terrible human being.
With that being said, I am still growing, experimenting, and learning about what diet and fitness routine works best for me, and here is what I've learned along the way...
- you should never be forced to stay within a certain label, diet, or lifestyle. what I mean by that is that if you are currently passionate about a gluten free, vegetarian, pescatarian, vegan, paleo, meat eating, or dairy free diet, never feel afraid to change your mind.
- its ok to experiment with different diets, and its ok if u still haven't found the answer
- the word "diet" is automatically associated with "deprivation". it's nice to have a goal but feeling deprived or feeling fearful or guilty to eat that piece of chocolate once in a while can always lead down a bad path.
- being passionate about your way of eating is one thing, but bashing people for theirs is another. Do whats best for you and let others do whats best for them.
- If you stop "labeling" yourself, you'll realise that you will actually be your healthiest. Without deprivation there is no guilt. When you stop depriving yourself, you will realize that you won't end up eating the food as much as you thought you would. Just knowing that you CAN eat a certain food makes you feel great and less deprived
- we are always changing and it is almost impossible to stick to one way of thinking for the rest of our lives. never be scared to change your mind
- flexibility makes everything better
- the stress you create around your food is actually worse for you than the food itself
- life is too short to be so hard on yourself
- eat what you want, when you want it
- listen to your body- it is usually smarter than your mind!
I hope you take some of my advice and carry it with you into this New Year, and remember, health is a journey, not a destination.
xxxxx
Rachel
